2024 Bites.
bite-sized reviews from this year's watchlist





January

Paprika (2006)

Paprika (2006)

Alright, I know it's not objectively horror, but I feel like the surrealism is close enough that I'm counting it. This movie was made for me. It's deeply, beautifully odd, delightfully unsettling, and utterly gorgeous. An instant favorite.
Perfect Blue (1997)

Perfect Blue (1997)

After Paprika, I had to check this out. I'd heard from several people that Perfect Blue was the better and stranger of the two, and... I have to disagree. That said, I still really enjoyed it, and the plot kept me guessing (which is novel).
The Puppetman (2023)

The Puppetman (2023)

This was fun! I'm not sure that I'd call it good, but I definitely wouldn't call it bad either. I appreciated the way this movie regularly set itself up to follow the usual formula for these kinds of movies, and then just broke that formula each time. Super fun. Scroll down for spoilers if you want specifics!

spoilers below:

A couple of the formula-breaking moments I'm talking about:
Usually, these young-adult ensemble movies start by killing off the group members who have the weakest relationship with the protagonist, working their way up to the best friend and/or boyfriend. In this case, having a main character whose best friend was her only real connection to the larger group just cemented that. Imagine my surprise when they kill off her friend first!

The time-honored let's follow two characters at once, switching back and forth between them, letting the audience wonder which of them is about to get got. As soon as that scene starts, anyone who's seen a horror movie before starts guessing "alright, which one of them is gonna get it and which one is getting away." Well, the joke's on you: they're dying at the same time! HA!
The Power (2021)

The Power (2021)

This movie deeply annoys me, and I don't know who it's for. I have a longer write-up brewing, but you can scroll down to catch my spoiler-filled Cliff's Notes.

spoilers below:

This is a movie about the ways society systematically denies the survivors of sexual assault any agency. They tell this story by taking the protagonist (a suvivor herself) and completely denying her of her agency while she commits violent acts of revenge on behalf of the ghost of a sexually abused child. So we're just riding along while this woman is re-victimized by a complete lack of power over her own body or actions. And then, at the end, when it's time to get their revenge, they just... scream at the guy so hard he dies.

That's not cathartic. That's not retribution. It reeks of shit priorities; in order to make sure that our heroine is taken seriously as a survivor, we have to ensure she is above reproach, which means avoiding morally dubious acts. She can't want revenge, and if she does want it, she can't want to get her hands dirty. What the fuck is the point? Ugh.

(yes i get that it's closing the loop on the "listen to survivors" metaphor, it's still bad writing).
Pontypool (2008)

Pontypool (2008)

This movie was just chilling on my personal backburner for years and it was so good? I love a novel approach to a zombie-esque outbreak!
Bad Things (2023)

Bad Things (2023)

This movie does a lot of "ooh what's really going on it's a myyysteryyy" etc. but the real mystery is how this deeply unlikable person has not one, but two attractive ladies tripping over themselves to get in her pants.

Spoilers below:

You know how The Shining (book) is a tragic story about a man doomed to watch himself turn into a monster while he tries in vain to fight against it, and The Shining (Kubrick movie) is about a guy who can't fucking wait to get up into the mountains so he can murder the shit out of his family? This movie is queer!The Shining (Kubric movie)(derogatory).

Violation (2020)

Violation (2020)

Ok but can we talk about how long that guy had his dick out? I know this is usually where I'd talk about the plot and stuff but honestly a lot of it was overshadowed by how much shit Jesse LaVercombe did in this movie while completely nude. Where's that Patrick Steward "acting" gif? Anyway it was... good? Complicated. I'll probably have more things to say later. In the meantime: seriously his balls are just right there the whole time. Damn. Incredible work.

Barbarians (2021)

Barbarians (2021)

Nightmare blunt rotation.

Spoilers below:

Why would you spend the first half of your movie like it's going to have some cult shit going on, and then be like "nah it's just a mediocre home invasion movie actually." But you know, I'll give the filmmakers this: it must have taken a lot of bravery to be like "okay so we make it seem like it's one kind of movie, and then the twist is that it's actually WAY less interesting than that." I'm giving it one star for the hot shithead guy and one for getting me invested in "when will the drugs hit and what will they do."

February

Villains (2019)

Villains (2019)

Oops I watched this a couple months before adding it here, but completely forgot about it and don't remember exactly when (I think it was after Barbarians). Anyway, part of the reason I forgot about it is because it's one of those ones that I know I'll have to watch a second time before I know if I liked it or not. Or like, did I like this movie, or did I just like the actors?
The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

It was fine. Some stuff was pretty good, some stuff was... less-so. But also I realized near the end that I've been seeing gifs of that one part for like a decade and damn.

March

Meander (2020)

Meander (2020)

They really thought they were doing something, huh.
Girl on the Third Floor (2019)

Girl on the Third Floor (2019)

On the one hand, I really loved this movie's approach to the physical manifestations of the hauntings in this particular house. Super gross, super fun. On the other hand, boy howdy did they fumble that ending! Oof! It's still probably going on my semi-regular rewatch rotation tho.

Also this is tangentially related but I'm a wrestling fan and there's been a lot of not-great buzz about CM Punk the last couple of years, but I did like him a lot in this... also, he's so hot :(

Spoilers below:

Wait so the girl with the marbles was the titular girl (like, the one on the third floor), right? Not the main ghost girl, but the marble girl? But then... why?

April

Wounds (2019)

Wounds (2019)

Man, people on Letterboxd hate this movie! Well, I have shit taste, because I really enjoyed it! I'm a fan of ambiguous weird bullshit, I love body horror, and I quite like watching someone just fling themselves headlong into the rabbit hole toward their own inevitable demise. It could have used some polishing up, and the visual effects were distracting, but I dug it quite a bit.
Rabid (2019)

Rabid (2019)

I accidentally watched this instead of Raw (2016) and was very confused. Anyway, it was alright! Pretty wacky, mostly fun. I don't usually like vampire movies, but the Carpenter/Cronenberg-style fwibbly things was a fun addition so I'll give it a pass. Also, the cameo from CM Punk was cute. The end.

Spoilers below:

I love how becoming a vampire made her better at fashion lmao
May (2002)

May (2002)

So, Lucky McKee got a slot on Masters of Horror despite having only directed two movies by that point. The first of those was May, and having watched it for the first time since high school recently I've got to say: I get it now. I can't quite find the words right now to describe how truthfully this movie captures the feeling of not knowing how to connect and the desperate loneliness that follows. But also, she's right, the short film is sweet.

Love Object (2003)

Love Object (2003)

I remembered watching this movie once or twice back in high school and really liking it. And you know what? Teenage me was right this movie is great. It's fun, and I know I say that a lot but I feel like at a certain point horror movies became less fun which breaks my heart. There is no point at which this movie takes itself seriously, and I love that for everyone involved (but especially me).
Escape Room (2017)

Escape Room (2017)

The only thing less believable that finding a working payphone in a random industrial park in 2017 is that multiple people would willingly attend that guy's birthday party.
Escape Room (2017)

Escape Room (2017)

  • "Hey, I just made this movie, it's called Escape Room, can you make a poster for it?"
  • "Sure. Should I watch the movie first?"
  • "Absolutely not."

    • Is it good? No. Is it the superior Escape Room (2017)? Yes. Also Skeet Ulrich is a babe.

    May

    elevator Game (2023)

    Elevator Game (2023)

    On principle I'm not a fan of horror movies that look like CW shows. That said, I did get invested in one (1) character -- when you get to the bit in the restaurant with the salt, you'll get it. Anyway, I have no idea if this movie is actually bad, but it was very much not my thing.
    Host (2020)

    Host (2020)

    Okay so I have to admit that one of my comfy go-tos is "Unfriended," so it's kind-of ridiculous that it took me four years to get around to watching this. That said, man it was fun. I loved the incredible use of the Zoom call format (right down to the ending). Like, it feels like so often these days I come across movies where I'm not really sure what the filmmakers thought they were making, but with Host it's like, oh yeah, this is exactly the movie they set out to make. Fantastic effort, super fun movie, I liked it a lot, the end.

    Late Night with the Devil (2024)

    Late Night with the Devil (2024))

  • I watched this before learning about the use of generative AI images, so for that I've dropped it to a single star because, seriously, what the fuck? That said, it would only have been a 2-3 star review anyway, for reasons you'll find below.

    spoilers below

    I just feel like, if I was going to spend an entire movie gearing up for the reveal that the main character had done a demonic ritual, I probably wouldn't have had the movie's opening narration be like "and he was in a group said to be involved in demonic rituals." Maybe that's just me.

    I will give minor points for the actors all showing up and doing great work, and also because I really liked the way the full reveal of the demon looked. That was nifty.

    		•
    Ghostwatch (1992)

    Ghostwatch (1992)

  • This was incredibly charming! After watching Late Night with the Devil, I felt compelled to go check out what was clearly its precursor (and I would assume an inspiration for the Paranormal Activity series, Lake Mungo, etc.). It was a really fun approach, particularly in having household names playing themselves; I'm always delighted to see Craig Charles. It would feel weird to call it "groundbreaking," except that it certainly would have been at the time! Either way, I really enjoyed it!.

    		•
    Caveat (2020)

    Caveat (2020)

  • I can't really say anything about this movie, except that I was so tense for like, a lot of it.

    spoilers below

    Ok but I did also really love the whole "hey remember how there's a ghost? i know it's like, maybe the fourth weirdest thing going on right now, but also there is very much still a ghost."

    		•
    The Devil's Chair (2007)

    The Devil's Chair (2007)

    This is a bad movie. I probably didn't watch it in May, but had honestly forgotten all about it until it popped into my head the other day and annoyed me all over again, so here we are. The whole movie is narrated by the main character's voiceover, and they literally just keep pausing the movie so he can talk directly at the audience about whatever's going on, but it's always just... the worst shit. Like, the whole "this character is a woman, have you noticed she has breasts" thing is bad enough, but there's also a part that's literally like

    narration: I was panicking and dizzy, I had to get out of there and get some air

    the actor: [makes absolutely no effort to show any of this]

    Anyway the best thing about this whole movie is that Matt Berry spends a decent chunk of it in a douchey mid-2000's t-shirt, long johns, and what look an awful lot like cowboy boots. It is a look.

    Suicide Club (2001)

    Suicide Club (2001)

    This has been on my list for ages and I finally watched it. I loved it. I found it charming and effective and bizaare and it just. It was like the movie equivalent of a really good first date; I know we're going to spend an awful lot more time together.

    Also this is only barely relevant buuuut Ryo Ishibashi could get it, okay? Like, I'm aware that he's just some normal middle-aged man, but he's a babe. That's all I have to say about that.

    One Missed Call (2003)

    One Missed Call (2003)

  • You know, I honestly can't tell anymore if I loved this movie or if I'm just reveling in the novelty, but either way I enjoyed myself! I did spend a hefty chunk of the movie being like "why doesn't anyone just answer the phone," buuut I guess someone else had that question too because the sequel covers that. Oh, I did get mad jumpscared. "Ewwww your hair is touching the-- GAAH!" Fantastic.

    		•


    June, July, August

    i moved to a new apartment in july, which did not leave a lot of time for movie watching, sorry

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    Love of my Life (2013)

    Love of my Life (2013)

    I'm… not sure what to say here. I watched it months ago (at time of writing) and mostly recall it as oddly touching but also pretty generic. Weird place to be.

    spoilers below:

    I did like that the lady got to come to his rescue though. She kicked ass. That was neat.

    Noriko's Dinner Table (2005)

    Noriko's Dinner Table (2005)

    I'm reluctant to call this a horror movie. I don't know what else it is, and it is a prequel to Suicide Club, but it still feels odd. It unsettles. I felt a bundle of emotions pretty much the entire time, without at any point being certain how to define those feelings. This is a terrible review. Go watch the movie.

    Open Windows (2014)

    Open Windows (2014)

    The thing about Open Windows is that it starts off predictable. You know from the start exactly where this movie is going. You can smell that twist coming from miles away. And it does, exactly as you expect. And then, there's another twist. And another. And it just kinda keeps going like that, just pulling out twist after twist, like a toddler that just got a hold of a box of kleenex. Do all of those twists work? Not even a little bit. Is it fun to watch them try it anyway? It is!

    Helter Skelter (2012)

    Helter Skelter (2012)

    This is based on a manga that I read first, and I gotta say: the art style of the manga is super weird for what it is. This movie is really stunning and it's a decent adaptation, though I'm not sure that the unhinged panicked freakout of it all comes through as well. Lilico comes across more as a run-of-the-mill (if particularly cruel) diva, and while that is what she is, there are additional factors to it that I don't think are fully fleshed out (heh) here. I still really enjoyed it, buuut yeah.

    Be My Cat: A Film for Anne (2015)

    Be My Cat: A Film for Anne (2015)

    I'm so annoyed with myself over how many times I've scrolled right past this movie, wherever it was. I found myself so caught-up by it all, and I'm so impressed and horrified by how effective this movie was. I appreciate that the guy is so, so annoying, and then does this hard pivot into being legitimately dangerous. Wild, and so good.

    Megan is Missing (2011)

    Megan is Missing (2011)

    I'd watched this a couple of times back in college, but recently saw folks on social media "discovering" it, and I've been on a real found footage kick of late, so I gave it a rewatch. It's definitely not for everyone, and there were things I caught this time around that I'd missed in the past (the conversations between Megan and Amy hit wayyy differently when you're only a couple of years out of high school vs being in your early 30s with a kid of your own, oh boy). But also, and this isn't a nitpick (I found it very endearing actually), I love how early in the movie they're at this party, right, and they're showing us that these YOUTHS are doing DRUGS and having SEXY PARTY NONSENSE OH NO but in order to show that, we get an extended shot of a teenage girl salaciously smoking the most obviously un-lit joint I've ever seen in my life. That's so cute. Let's just pan the camera down her legs during the part where she would be inhaling the smoke that isn't there, look, party kids doing party kid things oh noooooo, etc. Adorable.


    September

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    Videodrome (1983)

    Videodrome (1983)

    You know what I love about James Woods, actor (as opposed to James Woods, guy on twitter who shouldn't be)? He's constantly fiddling with things on set. If there is anything at all in his vacinity that isn't bolted to the floor, he's probably going to mess with it. I love that. I also love this movie, though I could not properly tell you anything about it. Except, perhaps, that it had an impact. I watched it at a local indie theater recently and was so struck by the concept of a pre-internet media landscape (or even an early-internet one) that I wound up purchasing a CRT television with a VCR on eBay. It's in my bedroom right now. I forgot what I was talking about. The point is: long live the new flesh.

    Martyrs (2015)

    Martyrs (2015)

    Who asked for this? Zero stars.

    Okay no I'm not done actually. This made me so mad. For reference, I wound up accidentally putting it on because I thought it was the other Martyrs, and I figured, y'know, in for a penny and all. And honestly it just made me mad. I'm so agitated that apparently a whole bunch of people got together, decided "hey let's remake this incredibly devastating and visceral movie," and then proceeded to just miss the point at every possible turn, every time, the whole way through, the end. My goodness, what an incredible waste of time and resources...

    Also, could the writers just... not think of another children's song? Other than "this old man"? This isn't a serious critique, it was just a weird choice.

    Vile (2011)

    Vile (2011)

    I'd seen this back in the day and completely forgot about it, until one day I'm scrolling through Tubi and lo: there it is! It's… fine? It does what it sets out to do, idk. Quick question though: what pain medication basically knocks you out but is also safe for use during pregnancy? Trick question, there isn't one! Followup question: why would they need a mole in the group? Especially when that mole doesn't do anything particularly mole-y? Maybe I missed something. Eh.

    Basket Case (1982)

    Basket Case (1982)

    Every person involved in the making of this movie is clearly having a GREAT time. Also, I am deeply in love with the portly, suspender-wearing man who owns the hotel and shall make him my bride.

    Pyewacket (2017)

    Pyewacket (2017)

    I love, in movies, when some expert on the creature they're dealing with is like "beware, it's a trickster and it will try to trick you with its tricky ways" and then the person just wholeheartedly believes everything that they see and hear SUPER hard starting immediately. Also, dude, just run away, c'mon.

    Monster Inside: America's Most Extreme Haunted House (2023)

    Monster Inside: America's Most Extreme Haunted House (2023)

    This is actually a documentary, but it felt relevant. That said, it's also a documentary that could have been literally one third of its own runtime. Interesting topic, terrible execution.

    Dashcam (2021)

    Dashcam (2021)

    "this film doesn't even have a dashcam in it" - This stellar Letterboxd review

    Anyway, Dashcam does some really interesting things with the found footage premise. Unfortunately, all of those interesting things have to share screen time and space with Annie Hardy. Also, this movie is the reason I know who Annie Hardy is now, and I cannot forgive that. If they release a "without all of the terrible rapping" cut, let me know and I'll reconsider my review. Otherwise...

    The Hole (2001)

    The Hole (2001)

    Do you ever think about Desmond Harrington?
    No?
    Oh. Huh. Me neither.

    October

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    Eight Eyes (2023)

    Eight Eyes (2023)

    I thought I was really invested in this movie. Until I got to the last 15 minutes or so and realized that I'd really just been watching it for the weird hot guy. Oops.

    spoilers (ish?) below

    I don't mind a movie where some unexplained ritual cult weirdness happens. That said, I feel like you can tell when the filmmakers know what the cult's rituals and weird actions are meant to be for (like, what does the cult believe, what do they think they're doing, what are they trying to accomplish, etc.). Even if we don't see the reasoning, someone knows what's supposed to be happening, and that makes it more effective.

    I do not for one second believe the filmmakers knew what was supposed to be going on here.
    Sesame Stree Tiny Desk Concert

    Sesame Street Tiny Desk Concert

    What's that? "This isn't a horror movie," you say? Well, you try being forced by a tiny dictator living in your home to watch and/or listening to it daily for twelve weeks and counting and tell me that it doesn't qualify as some sort of long-form experimental psychological horror, you just try!

    I do like the people in your neighborhood skit though, it's cute..

    (if I rate it any lower, the toddler will know).

    I Saw the TV Glow

    I Saw the TV Glow

    Okay. Okay so like. Obviously it's beautifully filmed and beautifully acted and talks about significant but difficult things.

    And I'm not saying "does X count as a horror movie," because it's just not a conversation I find interresting.

    But. I will say that I, personally, am not a huge fan of gearing up for a horror movie and then discovering that it's actually a mildly-surreal, intense, slow atmospheric drama. I can't say that it's a bad movie, it's just not for me.

    non-spoiler, just whinging


    okay it's just that my husband and i have a 2-year-old and finding a time that we can both sit down and watch an entire movie together is a herculean task anymore, and the one time in MONTHS that the stars aligned, we watched... this. Didn't know anything about it beyond "it's really good," and uh. Well, we spent date night mildly bored and bummed out.

    November / December

    I'm updating this on January 3, 2025 and have no functional memory of the last two months, oops. (No but I don't think I watched anything of note; tried to watch Daddy's Head and turned it off because it sucked. The end).

    (